David & Lise

 

First impressions for David and Lise were not positive. Lise was over from Australia for a wedding and thought David was ‘all the things about British bankers that were bad’. Meanwhile, he found Lise ‘a loud, annoying Aussie’! But several months in the UK changed their opinion of one another; they began dating and when Lise returned to Australia, David followed her out there. After a four month engagement they were married in Adelaide, Australia, and now live in London with their two children, Amelia and Eloise. Lise recalls an early adjustment she had to make: ‘David asked me not to cook so many roast dinners. I was averaging three a week trying to impress him!’

 

David’s parents had divorced when he was young. He said, ‘Reading The Marriage Book and spending time with Lise’s family and others who were still together really helped give me a picture of what it could be like and that it could be good’.

 

Their marriage got off to a challenging start: Lise contracted chronic fatigue (ME) from a virus and spent her days battling headaches and exhaustion. They decided to do The Marriage Course. Lise said, ‘Our marriage was ok- but it was during the time I had ME which put quite a strain on our relationship. I remember sitting on the floor for most of the course as I didn’t have the energy to sit in a chair and David sat with me. There were lots of tears and hugs as it was such a gloomy time, but it really helped us to see past our situation and focus on each other, which was what we needed.

 

‘It was great being there. We totally blocked everyone out and amazingly, although we were surrounded by a lot of people, we got lost in our own world. We were almost surprised at the end of the evening to find other couples sitting a few metres away. We particularly valued the sessions on communication and resolving conflict and have found ourselves adopting many of the practical tips modelled on the course. For example, we really notice the difference it makes when we have a date night, one of the course’s very practical suggestions.

 

‘We are chalk and cheese in terms of our personalities. But, taking part in The Marriage Course has given us the confidence that, even though we are very different and often don’t agree on many things, our marriage is and will be strong. We have learnt the skills to understand our differences and keep our communication clear. Of course, it’s not always easy and we don’t always do it right, but we now know how to work at clearing up a mess when just get into one!’

 

David and Lise